Sunday 20 June 2021
Celtic’s interest in Rob Atkinson may push Bristol City to part with £1.6million to land the defender. Atkinson appears to be central to manager Nigel Pearson’s plans to build from the back “I’d like two centre-backs, I’d like two centre midfield players and I’d like somebody to stick the ball in the back of the net.” he said “If you look at it like that, that’s five players”. And if you do look a it like that, then you’ve got to say Nigel Pearson’s really good at counting.
Monday 21 June 2021
The annual Oxford shin kicking competition returns this year as Oxford United have announced they will face Oxford City in a friendly on the 16th July. Like May Day celebrations, this is an ancient Oxford tradition where Oxford United youth team rejects put on blue and white hooped shirts and try to rupture the ligaments of their old club’s newest signings.
Tuesday 22 June 2021
Middlesborough, fresh from appointing Oxford’s former head of star jumps Chris Short, have announced a link up with Martin Gray’s Football Academy. This is like the board game Billy Hamilton’s Football Academy, except whatever number you roll on the dice, you move your piece sideways. Since leaving Oxford, Gray has built a reputation for developing a generation of crab-like kids able to withstanding howling wails of frustration from up to 7,000 fans at a time.
Wednesday 23 June 2021
There’s a bit of a stand-off in Bristol City’s pursuit of Rob Atkinson. City have submitted a substantial bid for the defender, but KRob is holding out for more. £1.6m is such a lot of money it’s a difficult to imagine, to make it easier for us all; that’s nearly £400,000 plus add ons when he eventually signs.
Thursday 24 June 2021
It was Fixtures Release Day on Thursday, which, like Freedom Day, is a lazy media confection designed to have dimwits frothing at the mouth. In the Type 2 Diabetes Cup we were been away at Flimsy Droid Bastilletank’s, Burton Albion. There was all the excitement of a thin crust margarita in the Papa John’s when we drawn in a group with Tottenham’s Muppet Babies, Stevenage and Cambridge and in the league there was the startling news that we were drawn against everyone twice starting punting off at Cambridge United on the 7th August.
Friday 25 June 2021
We can barely bring ourselves to look, but there’s been a bit of an interesting shuffling in the back room. And we’re not just talking about Matt Hancock’s hand on Gina Coladangelo’s backside. Leon Blackmore-Such has been promoted to head of pointing and manly pre-match handshakes, becoming KRob’s new first team coach. Meanwhile, Darren Purse takes over the Under 19s to give them the benefit of all his experience of getting on the lash at DTMs and Park End.
Saturday 26 June 2021
The Daily Record is counting the days until John Lundstram’s contract at Sheffield United ends at the end of the month. They think Stevie G won’t let it slip now and will win the race for Lunny’s signature. If he does sign, Lundstram will join Kemar Roofe at Ibrox, as Gerrard meticulously recreates Oxford’s 2016 promotion winning team. Joe Skarz is readying himself for a call; Gerrard’s heard that he’s the best defender in the land.