The signing of Danny Rose has the This is United forum salivating. He’s from Manchester United, for heavens sake, he could be the new Ryan Giggs, or the new Russell Beardsmore.

Let’s not get carried away, but there’s no doubt he ticks all the right boxes; ball winner, goal scorer and captain of the reserves. I was captain of my school second team, which meant I was the best player not in the first team. Rose may not be on the cusp of a Champions League debut, but he appears to be rated by Lord Ferg and his coaching drones.

He’s 19 with no experience, there’s a real risk he’ll burn out in all the expectation. When we’re struggling, it’s not long before you’ll hear hysterical screams of ‘GET KENNET ON’ from the Oxford Mail Stand whilst midget sized subs engulfed in their dark blue training jackets bob self consciously up and down the touchline. This is the sort of thing you do when playing Championship Manager; once you’ve run out of ideas you just throw in random youth team players regardless of how good or bad they are. Our faith that only Oxfordshire’s teenage footballing protégés can save us appears so unshakeable it’s as if Cowley Marsh is blessed with Cocacabana Beach like qualities; awash with top class stars waiting to be discovered.

It is probably testament to Jim Smith‘s standing that we’ve landed Rose; Manchester United players are frequently shipped out higher up the league ladder. On the other hand; as Lord Ferg works very hard to convince his players that everyone hates them – building a fierce team ethic – perhaps he wants to expose Rose to true hate. He’ll get it from the fickle Kassam faithful if he does something as heinous as skewing a throw-in to the opposition goalkeeper in front of the Oxford Mail stand on Saturday.

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