When something tragic happens, like the death of Amelia Aplin at the weekend, we’re reminded that these are the things that put football into perspective. This is meant to mean that it becomes trivial. I think it’s the opposite, it puts football into context. 

I only know Amelia Aplin from what’s been reported, with Peter Houseman, Joey Beauchamp, Martin Aldridge, George Baldock and Mickey Lewis there were shared experiences that fans could reflect on, without those connections, commenting feels intrusive, whereas silence is equally inadequate.

There’s no right response, but one thing we can be sure of; simply by virtue of the fact that she was an Oxford United player, Amelia Aplin lived 100% of her life, which is something worth celebrating.

I’m often reminded of Sheffield FC, the world’s oldest football club. They weren’t set up to compete against other clubs, because there weren’t any. They were a club in its truest sense; a place for people to play and watch football together.

In the relentless pursuit to compete, it’s easy to lose sight of the purpose of a football club. It’s not about wins and losses, if it were we’d all support Manchester City. Men, women, managers, coaches, professional and academy players, casual and dedicated fans – we’re part of a club community with the connections, shared experiences, cues and threads we need to navigate through life. Through simple things like badges, colours and collective experiences, we can know people without ever meeting them.

This year, I’ve been to The Manor Club and met octogenarians who have followed the club for decades; I went to the women’s FA Cup games against Middlesbrough and Charlton where I bought coffee from Jenna Legg’s coffee truck; a player that wears the same number 8 as Cameron Brannagan. Same shirts, same commitment, same club, same community, all different, somehow the same. 

I love seeing kids wearing their club-issue tracksuits at the Kassam, Court Place Farm or just around the city. It says to me they’re doing something positive, working hard, living good values, doing something they love doing. A huge counterbalance to the negativity exacted unfairly on young people. It says to me that on some level, they value what I value. Some of them will make it as professionals, others won’t, but all will be shaped by the experience and in turn, they’ll shape those around them.

Without ever knowing her, I know Amelia Aplin was one of those people, and her life, though short, was fulfilled. Her friends, team mates and family will retain her memory, but equally, through the club, that memory will propagate into the community, influencing how people act towards each other and how they commit to living their lives. The fact she was part of the club means she’ll have shaped those around her which makes her life, though brief, important.

The pindrop silence before the game against Blackburn helped to dissipate, though not reduce, the grief. Her team mates on the pitch, the irregular breathing of a person near me and the tremor in Peter Rhoades-Brown’s voice illustrated, for a brief moment that, in a silent bubble of reflection, everyone was able to carry some of the burden.

The tonal shift towards the game would always represent a challenge, the academy players filed off the pitch, the players refocussed, the crowd navigated tentatively from solemnity to a feverous roar. Was that the callous passing of time? Abandoning the cloak of grief to allow life to continue unabated? Or, was it the animation of the community she was part of, a unifying roar of approval, inclusion and recognition? I like to think it was that.

The first steps were cautious up to the applause after 15 minutes. After that, we seemed to accelerate to a comfortable cruising speed, with Donley in particular working to a different time signature to everyone else. 

After a couple of half-chances, Mills released an instinctive cross into the box towards Peart-Harris as he barrelled towards the goal. Balázs Tóth parried his diving header into Donley’s path and he poked home to open the scoring.

The last few weeks have given the club renewed purpose; stadium approval, the progress of the women’s team and the two wins that have put us back into the mix for Championship survival. As we face teams who are stumbling, we’re seeing momentum build.

Like West Brom, Blackburn, who were faultless during the minute’s silence and the round of applause, are a club struggling to find a signal in the noise. But where we’ve previously been too respectful or too complacent of teams in trouble, we quickly found a rhythm to exploit their weaknesses and control their threat. 

For once, we looked comfortable as a Championship club, away from the teeth grinding successes of previous wins or the desperate floundering defeats. Perhaps inspired to be purposeful and proud, we played the way we want to play; solid at the back, controlled in midfield, threatening and free up front.

The combination of Konak anchoring the midfield and Donley showing that effortless alertness of a player reading the game a few seconds ahead of everyone else has given Cameron Brannagan space to think, act and do. His outlets, Peart-Harris and Mills, give us energy while Lankshear’s battling wins us territory.

The real difference, I think, is two-fold; Matt Bloomfield’s calming tone can easily be mistaken for being too nice, but he regularly impresses the importance of certainty. He’s committed to the discipline of timekeeping that Christ Makosso fell victim to, the shape out of possession is something he’s referred to from day one. Last night he was keen to enforce the importance of preparing right, eating the right things and having the right attitude. For all the debate about the merits of a back three or back four, I actually think certainty – a stable team playing a stable formation – is more important.

The second factor is that Bloomfield has emphasised the positives; where Gary Rowett was quick to reach for where we were coming up short – quality, bravery, athleticism – Bloomfield emphasises our strengths – commitment and togetherness. He lays the seeds of belief which overcome the fragments of doubt, with that foundation, quality can grow.

And it’s working, with a lead to protect, the board went up to indicate another four minutes of injury time. As one, the Kassam rose to its feet, a tornado of noise sweeping us towards the end. One final run, tackle and block. Within each second, fear was replaced by fearlessness, hopelessness by hope. It was hard to decouple the memory of Amelia Aplin from the spontaneous demonstration of solidarity. As we walked from the stadium, in another place the most important goal of the night went was scored, Southampton had equalised against West Brom and our light shone more brightly.

It still may not be enough to save us, but after the past few days, the club feels more important than the results. In a world where power is exerted by destroying things, let’s just keep building.