George Lawrence’s Shorts – Herbie goes bananas

Henry’s hoover

Oxford United are giving themselves the best possible chance of promotion after a James Henry hat-trick beat MApp’s Lincoln City 3-1 on Saturday before they focussed onknocked out of the Papa John’s Trophy as early as possible. Former Yellows loanee Sam Smith, now at Cambridge, took sixty seconds to score two-thirds of the goals he managed for us in six months as the hosts cruised to a 4-1 victory. Gutted not gutted.

Regular movements

KRob was relieved to see the transfer window close after he thought Cameron Brannagan was Brannagone when Blackpool put in a cheeky final day bid. In the end he Brannastayed, which obviously doesn’t work. 

Having frantically tried to address the leftbacksituation, KRob suddenly remembered he had more cover than he’d ever need with injured right-back Sam Long, injured midfielder Jamie Hanson, Derek Fazackerley and club historian Martin Brodetsky all able to cover if necessary. So, that’s OK then.

It was proper name-scenes elsewhere as Herbert ‘Herbie’ Kane signed on loan from Barnsley. Kane is just twenty-two, but has a serious ‘indeterminate Eastern European with a law degree who runs an oven cleaning service for rich Brexiteers’ vibe about him. We also signed ‘youngster’ (aka future Woking loanee) Ben Davies from Fulham.

Meanwhile, we bade a final ‘Hey Yaw’ to Derek Osei Yaw who got on his Osei and left town. The departure was by mutual consent; KRob didn’t know who he was and Derek agreed.

Whyte back where he belongs

Gavin Whyte has been talking about his return to Oxford while on international duty with Northern Ireland. He revealed that he’s settling in nicely. “I’m back living in Bicester and Mark Sykes lives just a few doors away so that helps as well.” Now reunited with his old Jeward twin, it’ll be back to the neon winkle pickers and silver drainpipe trousers before you know it. 

Fos-silised

The stepover kid, Tariqe Fosu’s proposed move to Swansea City collapsed after Swans captain Matt Grimes stayed at the (now, this can’t be right can it?) Swansea.com Stadium. We know that Joey Barton is used to punching down, but you can’t punch much further down than signing Junior Brown for Bristol Rovers.

Chaptain fantastic

When he wasn’t burning his nipples on breast milk, Adam Chapman was amongst the best there was. He scored a thirty yard screamer for Grantham Town against Basford United. Chapman was ‘talismanic’ for, wait for it, The Gingerbreadmen who he joined from Gainsborough this summer.

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Oxblogger is a blog about Oxford United.

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