Sunday 27 June 2021
There’s nothing we don’t know about ex-Oxford coach Des Buckingham, apart from who he is, of course. He’s got the same no-news day vibe that compelled GLS to follow Jonte Smith’s Bermudan international career so closely a couple of years ago. Anyway, it turns out that Buckingham has won the A-League Grand Final with Melbourne City, which we’re guessing is some sort of newfangled esports competition.
Monday 28 June 2021
Having flirted with the cosmopolitan continental sophistication synonymous with roll-neck jumpers, Galois cigarettes and troubling relationships with a teenage muses, it seems Chris Wilder is gradually returning to what the 1950s coffee houses of Budapest labelled the school of ‘szükséges pragmatizmus’ or necessary pragmatism. Rumours are that Wilder may be ‘not getting too far ahead of ourselves’ and building a group of honest lads at Barnsley.
Tuesday 29 June 2021
The summer ain’t the summer without KRob failing to land a Scottish defender. Rumours are that he’s interested in missing out on the signing of St Johnstone captain Jason Kerr, who last season became the first player for forty years, outside the auld firm, to lift both the Scottish League and FA Cup without being arrested on suspicion of theft.
Wednesday 30 June 2021
Billy Bodin has signed a one-year deal following his release from Preston North End. The signing is a bit of a surprise, not least to KRob who was offered a Bodin deal and thought he was getting a 20% discount voucher for bland over-priced middle class mail order clothes.
Thursday 1 July 2021
They said it couldn’t be done; but the club have managed to fit Leon Chambers-Parillon’s name onto the back of his shirt. They’ve been quick to capitalise on that by tying him up to a one-year extension to his contract.
Friday 2 July 2021
Having planned a warm-weather training camp in Spain; travel restrictions have meant that the club have had to scale back and are now heading for a changeable weather training camp in Bournemouth. KRob will be staying in Derek Fazackerley’s caravan while the squad are all bringing their tents so they can finish their Duke of Edinburgh bronze awards. The club are hoping to line up a couple of friendlies against the kids playing World Cup Willy on the rutted grassless football pitch next to where the teenagers get smashed on cider.
Saturday 3 July 2021
When Bill Gates started Microsoft, his goal was to have a PC on every desk and to kill millions of children in the third world with bogus vaccines, obviously. It’s this ambition that inspired Oxford to try and sell a centre-back to every mid-ranking club in the Championship. It comes around so quickly, but the Sell A Centre-Back festival was held on Saturday after Rob Atkinson became a Robin reliant and signed for Bristol City. After it was announced, Atkinson was photographed looking bemused while wearing so many different City tracksuits he could be playing in the unfamiliar role of club shop mannequin next season.
Elsewhere, the only news that’s more frequent than the government sleep walking into another coronavirus wave; a man on Twitter claims that KRob is interested in bringing Gavin Whyte back to the club.
And, in a bald move, former Oxford skipper Adam Murray has become assistant coach at West Brom.