Sunday 13 June 2021
It’s the Euros! As the country gets behind their favourite millionaire Marxists, kneeling to promote the interplay between controlling the means of production and the inequalities in a conceptual societal superstructure (are we absolutely sure about this?), Plymouth manager Ryan Lowe has revealed that League 1 is turning into a global brand with a prestige friendly against Oxford in Spain this summer; it’s ‘El Clasico Soporifico’.
Monday 14 June 2021
West Brom’s interminable search for a former Oxford United manager continues. Having turned down Chris Wilder, they’ve overlooked Brian Talbot to focus on MApp. But, Mr Big Guns apparently isn’t interested, he wants to focus on the project he’s started at Lincoln – an Airfix Lancaster Bomber.
Tuesday 15 June 2021
There’s nothing GLS loves more than an ex-Oxford hot take. Last year Danny Rose dismissed 200 years of vaccine research because he personally doesn’t understand it (but buy Herbalife, btw). This week it was Lewis Haldane who doesn’t think it’s right that women commentate on Mans [sic] football. We much prefer Haldane’s analysis, which has previously included ‘Banggggg klichhyyyyyy babbyyyy’ and ‘Stuuuueeeyyyyyy bang bang bang. Here we gooooo’ and ‘Bammmmmmmyyyyy wham bammmmm’.
Wednesday 16 June 2021
In a move that screams ‘CLOSE SEASON CONTENT VACUUM’ the forensically analytical Blackpool Gazette have worked out what would happen to the League 1 table if, and let us check our notes here, only goals from non-English players were allowed to stand last season. So, with a strike force of Anthony Forde, Alex Gorrin, Derrick Osei Yaw, Mide Shodipo and Mark Sykes, guess what? We wouldn’t have done so good, finishing 18th.
Thursday 17 June 2021
In what is turning into what we call in GLS world, an ‘I wonder what Samir Carruthers is doing’ week, Birmingham Live have been wondering what Samir Carruthers is doing. The self-styled ‘idiot who urinated in a pint glass’ is now at Hemel Hempstead.
Friday 18 June 2021
James Constable has been talking about the difficult switch from football to being a regular Joe. Constable left Banbury last year to focus on his new job. ‘My boss has to keep reminding me I can take days off.’ he said. He’s also been told that he doesn’t need to track back to cover Carl from finance when he gets a coffee and that Janet in HR doesn’t like it when he shouts ‘OUR BALL, LINO’ when she picks up his photocopying.