George Lawrence’s Shorts – Never Mind the Ballots

Saturday 8 May 2021

On the eve of the last game of the season, Headington United’s Sam Long and Big Friendly Giant Elliott Moore have been reflecting on the last two years. Moore’s had a breakthrough season, skippering the side and playing every game. Long hasn’t seen a season this disrupted since the 1846 cholera pandemic preventing Headington United from playing their Oxfordshire Senior Cup Quarter Final against the Oxford University Department for Advanced Wheelwrighting Second XI. 

Sunday 9 May 2021

A blistering 4-0 win over Flimsy Boyd Jasselblank’s Burton Albion set up an unlikely opportunity for Oxford to make the play-offs on Sunday. Everything depended on Portsmouth’s game against Accrington. Over at Fratton Park, there was a proper bumpy Pompey pumping as Stanley won 1-0. The result meant Oxford snatched the last play-offs place and will play Blackpool next week.

Monday 10 May 2021

Blackpool fans are excited by the prospect of allowing up to 4,000 fans to Bloomfield Road for the play-off second leg against Oxford a week on Friday. The town hasn’t been this excited since Blackpool’s Woke-end Weekend a couple of years ago, which involved vegan ice-creams, a Black(pool) Lives Matter demonstration and the polyamarous puppet show; Punch and Judy and Another Judy.

Tuesday 11 May 2021

KRob’s still recovering from the excitement of making the play-offs, but feels his team are the underdogs as they go into the post-season. “…for some unknown reason we are in with a shout of going to the second tier of English football.” he said reassuringly.

Wednesday 12 May 2021

Oxford have confirmed that fans will be allowed to attend the first leg play-off game against Blackpoo next Tuesday. All season ticket holders will be invited to enter a ballot for the tickets available. Some fans have complained they’ve been unfairly left out, feeling they deserve to be rewarded for their dedication to posting flame emojis on the club’s instagram posts nearly every day.

Thursday 13 May 2021

Oxford players have been seen celebrating goals by pretending to play a saxophone and Elliot Lee has explained the reason why. “I put my music on and it was a saxophone playlist. A few of the lads asked whose music it was.” he said. Expect a few of the other lads to do a ‘sandpapering my eyeballs’ celebration when they score against Blackpool to show what it feels like to listen to a saxophone playlist.

Friday 14 May 2021

There are rumours that KRob is lining up a bid for Hibs right-back Tom James. James is said to be excited at the prospect of starting a few games in August before getting ousted by Sam Long and being shipped out on loan by Christmas.

With the play-offs next week, there’s a blank weekend for Oxford fans who don’t know what to do with themselves on Saturday. What about Tsun Dai? Well, the former Oxford player has scored his first professional goals with a brace for Shenzen in the Chinese Super League against Shandong Taishan.

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Oxblogger

Oxblogger is a blog about Oxford United.

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