George Lawrence’s Shorts: Linc’ed In

Saturday 20 March 2021

Oh we do like to be beat by the Seasiders. It was a proper donkey derby as we lost to Blackpool on Saturday. Blackpool opened the scoring in the 16th minute, which was a real Punch and Judy to the guts. They slot machined a second before half-time leaving us piering at a disappointing defeat.

Sunday 21 March 2021

Lockdown is easing in Indonesia and non-essential shops are opening, so the baby faced billionaire Erick Thohir has been down the football club shop to snap up a couple of bargains. Not only is he in the market to take over the mighty yellows, he’s also snapped up Persis Solo. Sheesh, you know you’re getting old when you remember Persis Solo’s dad playing for Tatooine Park Rangers before being frozen in carbonite by Jabba the Hutt in the seventies. 

Monday 22 March 2021

Northampton Town are Oxford’s opponents on Tuesday and manager Jon Brady has unveiled his sophisticated new strategy to get them back to being League 2’s second best team: “We want to win football matches playing to our strengths” he said scrawling maniacally on a chalkboard, underlining the words WE, WANT and STRENGTHS. Saturday’s defeat to Crewe was a blip, he said, in a season which has been pretty much blipping all the way to relegation.

Tuesday 23 March 2021   

Fans have been moaning about inconsistency – beating the lower teams and losing to the better ones. Well, we’ve nailed that particular problem now we’re consistently losing to everyone. On Tuesday night it was Northampton Town. “If you’re going into the lions’ den don’t put meat in your pocket.” summarised KRob, pulling a mouldy pork pie from a coat he last wore in a family trip to Cotswold Wildlife Park.

Wednesday 24 March 2021

Data virgins Five Thirty Eight have been pumping the algorithm to predict where we’ll finish at the end of the season. This involves millions of micro-sub calculations of every aspect of the season combined to make the most accurate prediction known to man. Having hovered between 8th and 10th all season, these superbrains are predicting we’ll finish 9th.

Thursday 25 March 2021

Matt and Jack popped up for a chat on the Six Minute Thirty-Eight Second Fan Forum on Thursday. Jack Stevens was asked for the best moment of his career so far, he opted for his debut and recent penalty saving antics, omitting the real answer: Simon Eastwood’s calamatous miss-kick in the last minute against Swindon.

Friday 26 March 2021

Good Friday came a week early as Oxford beat MApp’s misfiring big guns, Lincoln City. The Imps took the lead in the fourth minute. MAppy wasn’t happy when Matty’s arm went flappy to give the ball a tappy, Fordey looked snappy to leave Lincoln feeling crappy. Matty Taylor added a second to put Oxford on the verge of the play-offs.

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Oxblogger

Oxblogger is a blog about Oxford United.

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