George Lawrence’s Shorts: Posh nosh

Saturday 27 February 2021

It was a late night opening in the KRob derby at out-of-town shopping experience MK Dons on Saturday. Playing in front of the comforting setting of an empty stadium allowed the hosts to settle first and take the lead. Oxford rallied deep into injury time, after the home side became distracted by movement in the stands, allowing Elliot Lee to pop up for the equaliser.

Sunday 28 February 2021

MK Dons’ Ethan Laird is disappointed by the late equaliser. “We have to sometimes survive those [attacks] first half because teams feel like they can get at us for the first 10 or 15 minutes. But once that happens, no-one can touch us.” he said after apparently missing the ‘touch’ by Elliot Lee’s to notch our 97th minute sickener.

Monday 1 March 2021

Oxford are preparing for the arrival for top of the table Peterborough tomorrow. For Posh, this season is one of REVENGE! for the injustice of people not listening to the warped ramblings of Barry Fry. Alex’s son, boss Darren Ferguson said “It’s taken a lot of hard work and some unusual preparation to get us to where we are now.” We don’t know what’s unusual about the preparation, but it probably involves joining owner Darragh McAnthony’s weekly ‘clap for lawsuits’ tribute after he threatened pandemic related legal action against various people in March, May, December

Tuesday 2 March 2021

Nothing says REVENGE! like a 0-0 draw. Peterborough left the Kassam with a point in a tight game which both teams had chances to win. Barry Fry is understood to have used his patented Frygorythm to calculate that if they had played for another 45 minutes, Posh would have won 14-0. Darragh McAnthony is threatening to take everyone to court to prove the point.

Wednesday 3 March 2021

Oh god, you again? Imagine the moaning in the Ferguson household if someone gets more roast potatoes than everyone else at Sunday lunch. Peterborough are moaning, again, about the injustices being dealt against them, again. Alex’s son is demanding an apology from the referee after denying them what he thought was a ‘blatant penalty’. Alex’s son couldn’t believe the ref didn’t see it; Live I wasn’t sure.” said Alex’s son, confirming he also didn’t see it. There’s more: “You can often tell by reactions and their dugout went very quiet.” It’s true, the rules very clearly state that penalties must be given in the event of an Amy Cranston eye-roll.

Thursday 4 March 2021

Mystical Oxford United shaman Gary Bloom has a new book about the mental challenges of high level professional sport. The book follows a series of fictitious case studies with sportspeople dealing with a variety of emotional challenges including shame, anger, fear, jealousy, envy, love and being Jamie Mackie. 

Friday 5 March 2021

Part of GLS’ gift to the world is to keep up to date with the Oxford United alumnus, both real and made up. Gordon Ramsay, the overpriced burger flipper and professional mental health crisis stimulant, has been reminiscing about his football career on some cockamamie game show he hosts. With a face like he’s had a fight with a jet washer and a swimming pool of botox, one question about Glasgow Rangers caused him to reminisce about his football career, which involved making up stories of playing for the Glasgow giants. According to Ramsay he joined the club after playing youth team football for Oxford, of which no records exist. Can you pass the ketchup? This story smells a bit funny.

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Oxblogger is a blog about Oxford United.

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