George Lawrence’s Shorts: Playing with fire

Saturday 13 February 2021

With our game against Wigan Athletic postponed by 24 hours on Saturday, thoughts turn to our alumnus crew, which apparently isn’t the team Cowboy Chris Cadden played for. Preston fans are being taken out at the kneecaps by the performances of Ryan Ledson, who skippered the Lilywhites in their win against Scuttlin’ Joe Rothwell’s Blackburn Rovers. Meanwhile down the road, Cheyenne Armani Keanu Roma Dunkley is feeling right at home at Sheffield Wednesday, which is not a surprise given that he’s related to the Armani Keanu Roma Dunkleys of Skipton.

Sunday 14 February 2021

It was all go-stop-go-FIRE-stop-go at The Kassam on Sunday. After an hour’s delay to the kick-off to let the ground thaw out, the 2-1 win was dominated by a half-time drama when a fire in the floodlights caused everyone to be evacuated. While the fire brigade made the ground safe, the players and officials were asked to stand outside along with nurses giving Covid jabs in the conference centre. One nurse told the players about her work, “We’re doing Covid vaccinations.” she said “These jabs immunise.”

Jamie Hanson was heard to say he didn’t like the idea of it going in his eyes and said he’d prefer it in his arm.

Meanwhile, The Mirror have re-purposed last week’s story about Luke Foster’s relationship with Rebekah Vardy. Editors felt the story needed a better title using terms that people will typically use about the player when searching via Google. They went with the name Foster is more commonly known as: ‘different footballer’.

Monday 15 February 2021

Wigan boss Leam Richardson, spoke from experience, describing yesterday’s drama as a bit of a farce as he reflected on his side’s 2-1 defeat. “You don’t know what’s going on at half-time.” he said appearing to be unaware that the only roof that usually gets burnt at half-time is the one in your mouth from a cup of Bovril.

Tuesday 16 February 2021

It was the semi-final of the Papa John’s Pizza Trophy semi-final on Tuesday against Tranmere and Oxford made a right meal deal of it. First, they collapsed like a row of Domino’s going a goal down in the first half. They couldn’t cope with Rovers’ Prezzo-ing game and didn’t have their prosciutto-ing boots on. Matty Taylor had a chance to draw level from the spot, but he Hawaiianed it over the bar before Tranmere added a second to send them to the final at Emptyley Stadium next month.

Wednesday 17 February 2021

West Brom are in a bit of trouble at the bottom of the Premier League where they are twelve points adrift from safety. The Baggies are already looking for some big guns to replace manager Sam Allardyce. Mr Big Guns himself MApp is on the list. With cosmopolitan sophisticat Čhrįßtøphē Wïłdę stubbornly sticking to his gameplan to send Sheffield United down as quickly as possible, third bottom Fulham planning to make it an Oxford 1-2-3 by bringing in Gary Waddock to navigate their plummet to the Championship.

Thursday 18 February 2021

KRob is raging, claiming his team are ‘no flat-track bullies’ after their run of wins in League 1 recently. This raises many questions, none more important than ‘what is a flat-track bully’?

Meanwhile, more Mr Big Guns news as oil slick Mark Ashton is apparently eyeing up MApp for the vacant spot at Bristol City.

Friday 19 February 2021

Oxford head to Ipswich Town on Saturday who are having a tough time having dropped to the third tier. They can be in no better hands than manager Paul Lambert who has given fans a glimpse into the sophisticated footballing philosophy which has made given him so much success in the past. “Every game I try and pick a team that wins a game,” said Lambert. “That’s what I try and do and tomorrow will be no different.” Wise words.

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Oxblogger is a blog about Oxford United.

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