George Lawrence’s Shorts: Right-back to winging ways

Saturday 9 January 2021

TV executives say that programmes are just the things you put between adverts, not the other way around. Well, for KRob, football matches are just the things you put between efforts to try and replace Headington United’s Sam Long. The Daily Mail reports that right-back Tunmise Sobowale, currently on trial at Salford, is generating some interest.

Sunday 10 January 2021

Ha Ha, let’s all laugh at Leeds United, trounced 3-0 in the FA Cup by League 2 little Crawley Town. What a humiliation, I mean 3-0, that’s, like a thrashing. I can’t remember the last time it happened, I mean you wouldn’t be able to show you face in public would you? Who was the last top-flight team to get beaten by a League 2 team 3-0? Oh, it’s us.

Monday 11 January 2021

Steven Gerrard might need to re-think his quest to create McOxford at Rangers. Football Fan Cast, described Gers’ target, John Lundstram as a ‘total liability’ in Sheffield United’s FA Cup tie on Saturday after he lost control of the ball on fourteen occasions before being hooked by Premier League sophisticat, Ćhrįštœphe Wįldê

Tuesday 12 January 2021

It was all la-di-da with a sweet potato, pine nut and goat’s cheese on sour dough base Papa John’s pizza Trophy tie against fellow toffs, Cambridge United on Tuesday. In the end Rob Hall bang dem top binz, bruh to give us a 1-0 win. Before the game, KRob revealed he’s finally got round to clearing out the kitchen draw which contains old batteries, pieces of string and spare right-backs with Sean Clare heading to Burton on loan to provide a regular supply of consolation tap-ins to Kane Hemmings.

Wednesday 13 January 2021

KRob’s been reflecting on last night’s win, pinpointing a quadruple substitution that injected life into the team as a key turning point. He saw a marked improvement once Marcus McGuane, Liam Kelly, Mide Shodipo and Derick Osei came on. “That’s not because they’re any better” said KRob “It’s purely because they’re fitter and more game-ready.” Or, in other words, ‘better’.

Thursday 14 January 2021

GLS never cooks when his mum’s around; as soon as she sees what he’s making, she starts adding more salt, turning the heat down, stirring and generally taking over. KRob’s much the same when it comes to other teams signing wingers. Apparently Rangers are interested in Aberdeen’s Scott Wright, but who’s that putting on his pinny wanting to get involved? Is that you Mr Robinson?

Meanwhile KRob’s favourite helicopter pilot Gavin Whyte is wanging his way to Hull City on loan from Cardiff. He’s hoping to become the cock of the north. He’s not sure who takes free-kicks, but he’s interested in showing what he’s got when it comes to his pen(i)s.

Friday 15 January 2021

Scientists are concerned about a new virus infecting the UK; KRob’s ex-wingers are re-spawning all over the place. After Gavin Whyte, now Cowboy Chris Cadden has hooked up his wagon and moseyed on over to Hibs after leaving Columbus Crew.

It’s a relatively local clash tomorrow at Northampton Town, but don’t expect passions to run high. After a series of Covid related postponements, the EFL have warned players about hugging each other during goal celebrations. Even Henry James’ James Henry can’t help himself when he’s scored. “You’re almost not thinking, it’s not that you’re actively making a decision to break the rules.” said a man so sensible, he once turned himself into the police when he forgot to pay for a new plastic bag he used at Waitrose self-scan.

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Oxblogger is a blog about Oxford United.

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