George Lawrence’s Shorts: Brewer’s droop

Saturday 2 January 2021

Burton were thrashed on Saturday as Oxford ran riot in a 5-1 win. Matty Taylor opened the scoring before Mide Shodipo and Josh Ruffels both grabbed a brace. Burton, who were feeble throughout, scored just before half-time after a deflection allowed The Consolation Kid Kane Hemmings to tap home. 

Sunday 3 January 2021

New Burton manager, Jimmy Flloyd Hasselbank, has pinpointed what went wrong yesterday; their defence, attack, midfield, shape, commitment, fitness, organisation… “That was missing a bit and Oxford picked us apart” said the Dutchman with admirable understatement “(Even) while they were not even playing that well.” he added. Because nothing shows a team playing not playing ‘that well’ than a 5-1 away win.

Monday 4 January 2021

Hello? (hello?, hello?, hello?) What’s causing that echo? Why, it’s the empty heads of the two Oxford youth team players caught going to a New Year party breaking CoVid rules. The Athletic report that both have been suspended with KRob threatening to have them sacked. Fans commenting on the article have responded calmly, Bradley B, whose clearly never been managed by Malcolm Shotton, honked “This is the world we live in now. An authoritarian nightmare under the guise of protection.” while Matthew H was as misguided as Agon Mehmeti in front of an open goal, squawking “It kills 0.04% of people. Seriously dangerous s***” – a statistic so spectacularly wrong (by a factor of at least fifteen) it’s almost as if epidemiological studies should be left to professionals.

Tuesday 5 January 2021

On Tuesday, eighty-two year old Oxford United fan Brian Pinker became the first person in the world to receive the Oxford vaccine. When asked why he was so keen to be at the head of the queue Mr Pinker said; ‘I’m born and bred in Oxford, the vaccine’s been developed in Oxford, and I want to live long enough to find out why James Henry didn’t shoot.’ Other fans were excited to receive the vaccine, but apparently it’s only available to the 1893 Club members.

Wednesday 6 January 2021 

Imagine having such a sense of self-importance you think you have the right to subvert the norms and conventions of society to get what you want. Imagine, believing that those in power are conspiring against you. Imagine using modern media to over-inflate your status causing thousands of clueless buffoons to follow your lead. Imagine being led by a band of 80s corporate rejects with no plan. Did those storming the Capitol building in Washington learn nothing from Sunderland? Oxford target, Luke Thomas, looks set to put on his horned hat and bear skin and take up the cause at the Stadium of Light

Thursday 7 January 2021

It was the Eight Minute Twenty-Two Second Fans Forum on Radio Oxford on Thursday with Tiger. As well as talking about the viability of the club, keeping Mide Shodipo and Marcus McGuane and extending Josh Ruffels’ contract, Tiger spoke about life in Thailand and their growing concern of having 500 cases a day, proving the UK is truly world beating with 68,000 daily cases. 

Friday 8 January 2021

There’s no game this weekend, which has given KRob to consider the future. He’s threatening to resign again, sorry, he’s threatening to re-sign again. Following talk of Cowboy Chris Cadden and Marcus Browne, now there’s rumour that Nathan Holland is on the watch list for a return in January

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Oxblogger

Oxblogger is a blog about Oxford United.

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