George Lawrence’s Shorts: Ronan’s Boy zone

Saturday 21 November 2020

It’s sad to see a club hopelessly limping from one near-catastrophe to another, lost in a wilderness of bewilderment, wondering where the next point will come from. But, enough about Oxford, let’s talk about Wigan. Oxford felt right at home when they travelled north on Saturday. Taking heart that there’s always someone worse off than you, Matty Taylor and James Henry goals ensured a 2-1 win over the hapless Latics.

Sunday 22 November 2020

Leader, Legend, Adulterer; John Terry has shared a picture of the Chelsea 1996-97 youth team. We assume that Terry wasn’t actually part of the team, he just jumped into the picture in full kit anyway. The photo illustrated the perils of professional football; not all of those featured reached the giddy heights of becoming Britain’s most maligned racist as it included former Oxford legend Courtney ‘shit shit shit’ Pitt and Jamie Brooks’ favourite player; Rob Wooleaston.

Elsewhere, 1, 2, 3, 4… Toni Martinez, TONI MARTINEZ, TONI MARTINEZZZZ, has scored a spectacular overhead kick on his debut for Porto.

Monday 23 November 2020

It’s Portsmouth on Tuesday night in a re-match of last season’s play-off semi-final. Pompey assistant manager Kevin Gallen doesn’t see it as a revenge match. ‘You just have to look at what’s next” he said “The past has gone.” he said “it’s looking forward” he said “we expect a really tough game.” he said “we have to look forward.” he said (again) ‘we are in good form,” he said, looking back.

Tuesday 24 November 2020

Matty Taylor could be in trouble after grabbing rat-faced Portsmouth midfielder Ronan Curtis by the testicles after Tuesday night’s 1-1 draw. The game ended with players squaring up to each other for reasons nobody can quite establish. It looked bad, but Taylor was just rummaging to complete the draw for the quarter-finals of the Oxfordshire Senior Cup – ball number one – North Leigh will play ball number two – Woodstock Town.

Afterwards Curtis’ mum tweeted an appreciation of *checks notes* the size of her son’s penis. Which is an entirely normal thing to do.

Wednesday 25 November 2020

Chisel jawed duo, Sam Ricketts and Dean Whitehead have been left stony faced after they were sacked by Shrewsbury Town just days before they faced The Ghosts of Oxford Past, Oxford City. Ricketts and Whitehead wanted to instill everything they learnt from their time at Oxford in the 2000s in the Shrews. Having successfully plummeted them to the foot of the division, they were relieved of their duties.

PFA Chief Executive Gordon Taylor is standing down at the end of the season. The PFA under Taylor has become a lean and agile force in the football landscape not shackled by arcane bureaucracy. To prove this, Jose’s son, John Mousinho will be part of a three person panel to recruit a four person panel to recruit a replacement.

Thursday 26 November 2020

It was the Six Minute Thirty-Seven Second Fans’ Forum on Radio Oxford with Niall, don’t call me Niall, it’s Niall McWilliams. With Boris Johnson announcing the return of fans to football there were lots of questions about what comes next. Can we go to Hull? (YEAH!), And the Papa John’s Pizza Trophy thing? (NO!), And the under-18s? (NONCE!), And Swindon’s changing rooms? (ARE YOU RONAN CURTIS’ MUM OR SOMETHING?).

Friday 27 November 2020

It’s the Oxford Swindon derby on Saturday with Oxford looking to extend a seven-game winning streak spread over 17 years, apart from the one that doesn’t count, obviously. The official Bovril Twitter account got stuck into the build up on Friday, which surprised some Oxford fans. With Christmas just around the corner, there’s nothing a Swindon fan likes more than cracking open a bottle of salted beef paste to celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus.

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Oxblogger is a blog about Oxford United.

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