George Lawrence’s Shorts: The Moore, the merrier

Saturday 31 October 2020

So Solid Crew had 21 seconds to go, Silver Bullet had 20 seconds to comply. So Fleetwood dragged their heels against Oxford when they took 46 seconds to take the lead on their way to a 2-0 win on Saturday. With unpredictable gentleman thug Joey Barton watching from the Fleetwood bench, Henry James’ James Henry was ever so polite in passing the ball back to the ‘keeper after we had the opportunity to equalise from the penalty spot. Let’s face it, we don’t want to anger him.

Sunday 1 November 2020

Joey Barton is happy about Saturday’s win “They (Oxford) are in a false position” he said of the team whose ominous play-off form consists of six defeats in eight. Mind you, don’t mess with The Barton – data virgins FiveThirtyEight are predicting we’ll finish 10th. How have they come to that conclusion? We don’t know and let’s be honest, we don’t care.

Monday 2 November 2020

Oxford may be lining up a move for former Sheffield United defender Ben Henegham if club scouts can persuade KRob offers pace down the flanks. Meanwhile, former Oxford star baker Candice Carroll has signed for Queens Park, who are just a ‘Rangers’ away from being a professional team. In other news, broken man-bun Ricky Holmes has been raised from the dead to sign for Northampton Town, he’ll be the club cadaver for their trainee physios.

Tuesday 3 November 2020

One man army Elliot Moore has had enough, on Tuesday he was smashing up buildings with his bare hands and throwing people over the South Stand as he led Oxford to a 3-1 win over Rochdale. Moore’s two goals, along with another from Nick Harris’ worst nightmare, Olamide Shodipo, saw us stroll to a comfortable three points.

Wednesday 4 November 2020

GLS knows that as the years advance, lavatorial control becomes increasingly unpredictable. Only last Wednesday, we felt a familiar warm, damp feeling in our trousers while queuing at the Post Office for a postal order. So, we feel for Rochdale manager Brian Barry-Murphy as we assume he was caught short during his team’s defeat last night “I don’t remember any chances that the opposition created.” he said after the three goal mullering “I thought we were in total control (and) couldn’t see a way we’d concede”. He missed so much, perhaps he should try adult nappies to get him through the 90 minutes.

Thursday 5 November 2020

Jedward third wheel Joel Cooper hasn’t been called up to not play in Northern Ireland’s upcoming Nations League and Euro 2020 games. Cooper instead will be available to not play in our next league game against Doncaster Rovers next Saturday. 

Friday 6 November 2020

It looks like Joe Biden will be the next US President; who remembers when Boris Johnson racially abused his good friend and former boss? Or threatened peace in his ancestral home by breaking international law? The special relationship between Britain and America runs deeper than that. They have Donald Trump’s personal attorney and sometime trouser fumbler Rudy Guiliani and we have Barry Fry to laugh at when things feel bleak. Fry brings his Peterborough team to The Kassam tomorrow for the FA Cup. KRob’s expecting to make changes with a busy league schedule ahead, so we’re excited to see youth and experience combine as Derek Fazackerley plays alongside Amy Cranston in defence.

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Oxblogger is a blog about Oxford United.

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