George Lawrence’s Shorts – virgins, appreciating, potatoes

Sunday 29 October 2017
The Daily Mail reported that Oxford United fan Seb Keenan has just picked up a world record for playing the most consecutive seasons on Football Manager. Seb, who is pictured in the story pulling a series of lame cool-guy poses impresses us all with stories of losing his girlfriend and missing great chunks of his university years playing the game. Seb also holds the world records for the deadest eyes and biggest virgin.

Monday 30 October 2017
PClot feels a bit hard done by after our defeat to Fleetwood. In what the Oxford Mail described as ‘truly a game of two halves’, as opposed to a game of three halves, his firm belief is that that the progress is clear for everyone to see. Having lost to Fleetwood last year, we’ve gone one better and lost to them this year as well.

Tuesday 31 October 2017
Nobody appreciates Are Leader Curtis Nelson like Are Leader Curtis Nelson appreciates. As a result of clocking up 60 appearances, the club now has to cough up an additional £80k to Plymouth for his services, which for those who can’t envisage how much that is, this is 11% of a Jon Lundstram.  

Thursday 2 November 2017
PClot won’t be making any major changes to the team that faces Port Vale on Friday night. Having just completed his FA Cup for Foreign Managers’ Awareness Training, he has dutifully vowed to ‘respect the competition’ because of its ‘great history’.

Friday 3 November 2017 
The magic of the cup was in full effect as we disappeared in a puff of smoke with a lacklustre performance against Port Vale. Still, PClot can be proud of his record-breaking run which smashed the 17 year sequence of not being beaten by a team in a lower division and the record of never having gone out of the cup before Oxford City. Norris McWhirter could not be more proud if he weren’t dead.

Saturday 4 November 2017
All is not lost! Oxford City, a team made up of journeymen pros, part-timers and former Oxford United youth team players that you still follow on Twitter but can’t remember why, created one of the shocks of the round with a 1-0 win away at Colchester. Mark Jones, part-man-part-potato, is manager at Oxford City. “We’ll take it one game at a time, but if we can get into the third round and draw one of the Premier League clubs it can actually sustain the club for many, many years.” Said Jones resolutely not taking it one game at a time. 

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Oxblogger is a blog about Oxford United.

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