George Lawrence’s Shorts – Light fingered Ricardinho


Monday 9 October 2017
Oxford’s Idinho; Ricardinho claims he came over all giddy and didn’t know what to do when he scored on Saturday. The cheeky monkey took the match ball and put it up his shirt to mark his wife’s pregnancy, but then ‘forgot’ to give it back. A bit like that time he forgot he was marking his wife’s pregnancy with Ryandrea Ledson’s iPhone and Curtis Nelson’s wallet in a pawn shop.

Having collected all his badges and lit enough many camp fires, Head Scout Craig Dean has dib dib dib and dob dob dobbed his last for the club. Dean has left god’s own for Leeds United. He’s been instrumental in going to Everton Youth Team games over the last few years picking up a number of gems with appalling diction.

Tuesday 10 October 2017
Henry James’ James Henry has hailed PClot’s positivity in getting through our three game losing streak last month. Focus, it seems, was on looking at the things that went right during those games by showing the players clips of the good stuff. Clips, gifs, whatever.

Wednesday 11 October 2017
Things have moved on at Shoot magazine since GLS was a boy. PClot didn’t mention his White Ford Capri, his preference for pre-match lager and chips or his love of Simply Red in an interview with the long running mag. In it PClot reveals that he was inspired to join Oxford by Garry Monk’s long running Oxford career of five games seventeen years ago. The interview is a must read for anyone wanting to see a Spaniard being mercilessly harangued about whether his team will finish 7th, 8th or 9th this year.

Thursday 12 October 2017
It’s not all pass, move, flick, trick, entertain this football lark. Calientabanquillos Xemi is taking his time adjusting to life in England. “He’s made a huge effort to realise how the game is played here.” says PClot about the ex-Barcelona Reserve. This week he’s been focussing on early-doors reducers and meaningless sideways passing while watching YouTube clips of Martin Grey in his pomp. Stick with us kid, we’ll batter the talent and creativity out of you yet.

16 year-old starlet Owen James has been handed a professional contract a day before his 17th birthday. The striker is looking forward to making his debut in the 78th minute of a Checkatrade game, collapsing under the pressure of being the answer to everything during brief first team goal famine and being loaned out to Didcot Town before he’s 20.

Friday 13 October 2017
We travel to Bristol Rovers tomorrow to face some of the greatest Combes of our promotion season. Liam Sercombe may be subject some barracking by the away fans, but he should be able to cope with it because he’s got pretty broad shoulders. Meanwhile, Sir Dropsalot, Sam Slocombe, will be dithering at crosses in the Gas goal.

Saturday 14 October 2017
We ruthlessly Sercombe-cised the Pirates with a 1-0 win at the Memorial Ground. The goal was Slocombe-ing, but eventually arrived in the 82nd minute with Alex Mowatt-et-Chandon finishing off some champagne football.

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Oxblogger is a blog about Oxford United.

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